I hate: therefore I am

I hate the X-Factor as much as Simon Cowell hates top lips.
I hate the X-Factor as much as Joseph Fritzl loves home-births.
I hate the X-Factor as much as Colin McCray's son loved heli-pads.
I hate the X-Factor as much as Louis Walsh loves the craic of young men.
I hate the X-Factor as much as Mick Hucknall loves the thought of coming home to you.
I hate the X-Factor as much as Jews love shuddering before taking a shower.
I hate the X-Factor as much as Jonathan King hated his boyfriends reaching puberty.
I hate the X-Factor as much as Gary Glitter hated his wives reaching puberty.
I hate the X-Factor as much as cats can has cheezburger.
I hate the X-Factor as much as Conor Clapton wasn't sure of his father's name if he saw him in heaven.
I hate the X-Factor as much as the David Cameron hates Father's Day.
I hate the X-Factor as much as Jade Goody hated smear tests.
I hate the X-Factor as much as Freddie Mercury loved slimming aids.
I hate the X-Factor as much as David Blunkett loved pretending he wasn't looking at your tits.  Dirty bastard!
I hate the X-Factor as much as George Micheal loves dropping prison soap.
I hate the X-Factor as much as residents of Hiroshima hated aftersun lotion.

Yet I can't stop watching.